Gotta Do What I Gotta Do {Going Back To Work}

I know a lot of the time I make jokes and laugh on here, but right now I'm fighting back tears. I have been trying to keep a tough face the last few days.  Matt and I are young if you didn't know that and sometimes I forget that we haven't paid our dues yet.  We moved fast.  Got married at eighteen and a baby at twenty-one.  Usually people finish college. Get a career. Get married. Start a family.  (Yes I know that isn't most people, but what I'm trying to say is usually people have already paid their dues by the time the baby comes.)  Well I was lucky enough to spend most of Luke's life so far as a stay at home mom thanks to Matt's hard work. Unfortunately, money is just a little too tight.  We have no wiggle room so if something breaks down BAM we are in trouble.  Most of our savings went the new house so in order to get our savings and emergency fund back in place I have taken a part-time job.  My heart is aching.  I know it's part-time I know I'm leaving Luke with family and a friend, but man oh man... It'll be the hardest thing to leave him no matter how short of a time it is. On top of it my schedule that was offered to me covers every weekend.  So there are LOTS of sacrifices being made.
I'm scared to miss those little moments.  But if he starts full on walking when I'm not there.  But if he gets hurt and I can't kiss him better.  But if he feels abandoned or confused when I'm not there. I know these are crazy thoughts or at least a little over the top, but as a mother this is how I feel.  I hate that I have to leave him, but I need to do this to get our family back on track.  I'm hoping to get my medical transcription certification so if I have to work at least I can do it from home. Wish me luck, because this may just rip my heart out!